I have been struggling since our Emelyn's passing with feelings of both pain for every new thing that we are experiencing without our precious little girl mixed with joy for the journey that lies ahead for our family. This new pregnancy has only strengthened both emotions and at times, it is both confusing and frustrating! Sometimes it feels as if the cloud of sorrow that surrounds me is never going to go away. It has been easy for me to become frustrated and try to do everything I can to try to "change" or "overcome" it but today I learned today that having both sorrow and joy is okay (and necessary).
Ezra 3:10-13
10 When the builders laid the foundation of the temple of the LORD, the priests in their vestments and with trumpets, and the Levites (the sons of Asaph) with cymbals, took their places to praise the LORD, as prescribed by David king of Israel. 11 With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the LORD:
“He is good;
his love toward Israel endures forever.”
And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. 12 But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. 13 No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away.
The foundation that is being built in me is not of stone, but of flesh and blood. Father knows that we have seen the former "temple" pass away in our precious angel and at times, we will experience great joy and at others, great weeping as the new "temple" is built within me. Although it doesn't say either the sorrow or the joy was more loud than the other (at times it may be one or the other), our cries will not be silenced and God will be honored! The new temple is being built even as I write this!!
I know it's a funny analogy but when I found it, I was so deeply touched - God is so good!
My whole word revolved around Emelyn for so long and it broke my heart to see her go but also to see the pain that she was in for so long. Although it all makes absolutely no sense to me, I trust my Father. And from that day forward, I truly MEAN it when I say that my children belong to Him and I will treasure EVERY second that He chooses to bless me with them. They are a most precious gift.
